I have heard it all

My son approached me last night and asked me to sign a form for him to be eligible to be chosen as a student aid or library aid for school next year. Last night I happen to be on the ball, so rather than just sign the letter and continue on, I took the time to read what I was signing. I just happened to look on the back of the form and found the stipulations to becoming a student aid. The very first paragraph states that the student must have excellent grades (A's & B's) {Check yes for my brilliant son}, a history of outstanding class conduct {Check yes again} and a signed permission form signed by their parent or guardian {I am willing to give it a shot}. Students who have multiple discipline referrals {Check none for my brilliant son} and/or poor attendance records will not be selected as Office or Library Student Assistants. This is where the breaks screeched loudly. There have been occasions that I have removed Chris from class for doctors appointments for both of us. I am also aware that he has had several tardy's at school. I pointed this stipulation out to him.

Oh, they mean if you like miss three entire days in a row mom, I was told. I logged into the school website to express to Chris that he had a less than stellar attendance record. I am not sure what the school considers poor. He has 8.5 absences and 11 TARDY'S!!! I have no idea how this child has managed to stay under the radar. The school policy is after school detention for every 3 tardy's. Chris has never had detention.

I figured while I was logged in, I would glance at his grades. All I can say is oh my. This quarter started March 9. The last progress report I was given showed that he had all A's & B's. The first think that caught my attention was the 12 missing assignments in one class. Whoa. After checking all of his classes I layed into him. He has 18 missing assignments. He has a D in geography. Upon more than one occasion he has commented that his geography teacher gives stupid homework. In his opinion it is stupid to give kids homework over a three day weekend, because what child is really going to do that? We asked him where the assignments were. "I was walking down the hall at school with my papers and notebook in my hand. This kid came running up to me, grabbed my papers, and took off running so fast that I couldn't tell who it was." These are seriously the words that came out of my son's mouth. What can you say to that?

I told Chris that he might as well have said that the aliens took his homework or the dog ate it. He proceeded to tell me that if one could provide the slobbery, wet, pieces of paper that remained to the teacher that this would be a realistic excuse. My response to this was "do you really want to go there right now?" His eyes quickly met with the carpet on the floor and in a quiet shameful way he said no.

I believe that with this conversation, I have the ability to say that I have heard it all now. I am not sure that there is a more ridiculous excuse out there.